Spring Awakening
by HeartlessScholar
Summary: Tom is moving to California with Jerry after his parents divorce, and he can't wait to see Alex again. Tom/Alex, slash content later chapters. Spoilers from all books up to and including Scorpia Rising.
1. Mama Who Bore Me

**I do NOT own Alex Rider. Horowitz does. He would be appalled reading this (ok, maybe not but still). **

**I ALSO DO NOT OWN SPRING AWAKENING.**

**-This fic's chapters are all based off of the songs in the musical "Spring Awakening" as they appear in chronological order. Mostly it's just the title of the song, but sometimes the lyrics will have relevancy as well.**

**SPOILERS FOR EVERY BOOK IN THE SERIES**

**Disclaimers: Alex/Tom. DLDR. I enjoy the thought of these two being together. There will be explicit (note the wording) material in later chapters. This fic is purely about a relationship, not about the sex that happens in it (looking at you, lemon-writers). Not to say there won't be any, but it's definitely not going to be happening within the first 3 chapters. Maybe 4 or 5. Hell maybe not even until 7.**

**(If you saw Spring Awakening, you will have a general idea of when it might take place)**

**This, unlike almost every other slash fic, isn't written in first person. I alternate limited 3****rd**** person perspectives.**

**I'm rambling.**

**Okay, let's go. Please enjoy. REVIEW too. I like those **

**Spring Awakening**

**An Alex Rider Fanfiction**

**By: Heartless_Scholar**

**Chapter 1: ****Mama Who Bore Me**

7:00PM on a warm summer night in Chelsea; Tom had just settled down with his mother and his brother, Jerry for dinner. The kitchen they were eating in was in disrepair. The cabinets that lined the walls were falling apart, and mold could be seen growing inside them. The fridge was covered in scratches and looked like a total mess. The stove didn't work, but the oven beneath it always heated up too fast and wouldn't stop. Last time the family tried to cook something in it the house was almost burnt down.

Yes, Tom's life without his dad was an absolute wreck. Without his father's money, his mother couldn't possibly support Tom, much less herself and Jerry from time to time as he came to visit. Tom's mother lost her job a few months after divorcing his father. She had then won the custody battle over him in court; and honestly, Tom didn't care either way. He thought both of his parents were nutjobs. The fact that his brother's name was Jerry was all that one needed to know about them.

They ate on a wobbly wooden table; the KFC containers were almost empty now as Tom finished his last bite of popcorn chicken. He didn't like drumsticks, breasts, or wings. He didn't like the bones; eating around them made him feel like an animal.

The table was silent, but that was usual. Tom rarely spoke to his mother anymore. She could do nothing for him. All he was doing was awaiting the day he turned 16 and could move out of the house and live with his brother. He only had one year to go.

Yet beside this Tom felt tension in the air; everyone at the table could. It was looming, like a black cloud above a city constantly threatening to pour rain down on its inhabitants. The cloud over the table was Tom's secret that he had been hiding from his mother. Jerry already knew and didn't care; but he insisted that Tom tell his mother that he was gay by the time he left the next morning for America. Jerry was about to go study history at the University of California in Los Angeles, and he wanted to know his brother was comfortable with his sexuality around his mother.

As Tom swallowed the final piece of chicken Jerry shot him a glance, saying _c'mon you bloke, just spit it out._ Tom would've complied; he trusted Jerry, but his mother was a whole different story and because of that it wasn't as easy as Jerry thought it would be.

Tom looked at the ceiling, as if waiting for God himself to just spell it out to his mother for him. It didn't happen, Tom sighed. If only Alex were here.

Alex. Alex Rider. His best friend who was now in California with the family of his girlfriend. The last time he saw him was the day before he left for America with Mr. Pleasure.

He remembered that day…the day his second half left him alone in the gloomy city of London.

He remembered the tears streaking down his face when he hugged his best friend goodbye.

He remembered the hopelessness he felt the first few weeks following.

He hadn't even told him his secret.

Tom needed to tell his mom, he didn't know why. Maybe it was his brain punishing him for not telling Alex before he left. There was something pushing him…fate, perhaps…to tell his mother that he was not into women.

Tom sighed and looked back at Jerry, who gave him a small nod from across the table. Tom looked at his Mom, who was still finishing a bit of a chicken wing, and took a deep breath.

"Mom…"

"Yes, sweetie?" Her voice was gentle.

"Um…how do you feel about…homosexuals?"

His mother stopped eating, swallowed, and put her food down. She looked at Tom, her eyes not giving away anything. "That's an odd question, why do you need to know?"

"A school report." Tom rehearsed this in the mirror in his room. He sounded perfectly normal.

"Really? On what?"

"Society's feelings towards homosexuals, Jews, blacks, Irish…basically minority groups that have received some terrible treatment in the past. I want to know if the general view of the public has changed or stayed the same."

"Well I'm fine with black people, Jewish people are fine, and I don't remember the last time I read something about an Irish person being discriminated against."

Tom was annoyed. She avoided his initial question, "And…?"

"And…what?"

He sighed, "Homosexuals."

"Oh. Sorry. I forgot. I don't like them. They're not natural. I'm sorry, but a man's penis goes into a woman's vagina. Not another man's butt. It's not how humans were meant to be."

The world stopped.

_Mama who bore me,_

_Mama who made me… _

_Mama the angel…_

_Who made me so sad_

_-Spring Awakening_

He never felt attached to his mom. So why did he feel so crushed at this proclamation? Was it because Tom felt that mothers should, in fact, care for their children? Or be more sensitive to them? Of course, he wasn't considering the fact that his mom didn't know he was gay, but in essence he felt the same way as if she had disowned him for it.

Jerry looked at Tom from across the table and saw fire in his eyes. He shot a glance at him to calm him down, but it wasn't working. Tom was furious. He stood up and gave a menacing glare to his mother.

"How could you condemn two people of the same sex loving each other when you couldn't even keep a heterosexual marriage?" He screamed, "Have you ever considered loving someone? You certainly didn't show it to Dad. But you described love as a sexual emotion in your answer, so maybe that's it. You just liked his prick, huh? Is that it?"

Tom's mother had no way to respond. Jerry stood and stormed over to Tom, grabbing him, and cupping his hand over his brother's mouth, "You will not talk to our mother that way, Tom! You're not being fair, she doesn't even know!"

She spoke, "Know what?"

Tom broke free of his brother's muzzle, "I'M GAY!" With that he ran up to his bedroom, his brother relinquishing control. Jerry sighed; his palm went to his forehead as he pulled a chair up next to his mom.

"Sorry, mum. Tom didn't mean it. He really didn't."

His mom was shaking. She hadn't been yelled at by her boy before. Well, she had, but it was never a verbal assault like the recent one. Jerry hugged his mom, "Look, I can't say I don't agree with anything he says…but I know you had to have loved Dad at one point."

"Why couldn't he tell me he was gay?" She asked, "I wouldn't have said what I did about homosexuals…"

"I think he wanted the truth, mum, and I think I know why he wanted it."

"Why?"

"Look…" Jerry sighed, pulling away from his mom, "I told him that if you won't accept him…he can come with me to California. You know I got accepted into the University of California in Los Angeles, and it just so happens that Alex is staying with his girlfriend's family around that area. He desperately wants to see Alex, and it's known that California accepts homosexuals more widely than most other states in the U.S…"

"You're taking Tom away from me now?" She said, a tear rolling down her cheek, "Why? I do love Tom, I love both of you. I'm sorry if I haven't shown it, but I do. I miss you not being around, Jerry, and I don't want Tom to go away too."

"He's sixteen."

"I know."

"Mum, he's decided to come with me."

His mother sobbed, "I know."

Tom had already packed his suitcase. Every article of clothing he could fit went in there, along with a few pairs of shoes and his portable gaming systems. He didn't read much, but he had a book on LA that he wanted to read on the 12-hour flight.

A knock came from his door.

"Who is it?" Tom asked with a groan.

"Jerry." Without even asking his brother came in and closed the door.

Tom glared at him,"What do you want?"

"Hey, back off, I'm the one getting you out of here." Jerry replied, acid in his voice. Tom settled down and threw himself onto his bed, staring at the ceiling above.

"Why doesn't she care?"

Jerry sighed, "She does Tom. You jump to conclusions too fast." He sat down next to his younger brother, noting that his body has taken on a more manly stature since he last saw him when he was 15. "Hey, you know what'd impress Alex? If you built some muscle. You have the frame for it."

Tom sat up quickly and looked at Jerry, his face red "H-How would you know if I want to impress Alex?"

Jerry giggled, "It's obvious. You've said something about him every day since we left. But I did want to say something. He's straight, Tom, and has a girlfriend."

Tom looked down at his feet, "I know…but…"

"Ha. You like him."

Tom nodded slowly, "Yeah…I think I do. I guess it's just that I've never felt closer to anyone…and he is a fine-looking man. Don't you agree?"

Jerry gave a puzzled look, "Sure?"

Tom laughed, "Oh, right."

"Is it so wrong to be straight?" Jerry asked, breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Hehe, if the world had an even amount of gay and straight people. I'm pretty sure we'd all be accepted and dating would be so much easier."

"Yeah, you guys have it rough. Just be careful with Alex, O.K.? I know you have strong feelings for him and you might scare him or offend him if you try anything romantic."

Tom sighed, "Of course, Jerry. I'm not stupid."

His brother smiled, "I know you're…wait a second. You're my little brother. Yeah you're a dumbass." He was responded with a tackle from Tom, knocking them both to the ground and initiating one of their wrestling matches. Jerry was surprised as he actually had to struggle a bit against Tom's newfound strength. His brother was getting older. He hoped his brain was too; even though they were going to be in a more-accepting environment gay guys were not the norm in California by any means. He also knew that once he got to see Alex again he's going to be thrown into emotional turmoil once Sabina comes along.

Jerry pinned Tom for ten seconds, claimed his victory and crawled off of his brother, the both of them panting.

"You're a lot stronger than you were last time." Tom said.

"I was literally about to say the same thing about you."

Tom stood up and embraced his brother, "Hey, Jerry?"

Jerry, not knowing how to react hugged back, "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Giving me a new life."

Jerry smiled and relinquished his brother, "You're more than welcome, Tom. Not get some sleep, we're leaving tomorrow morning and you have a long flight ahead of you. You might want to text Alex, too; let him know that his best friend will be landing in 18 hours." He left Tom's room and closed the door.

Tom excitedly grabbed for his phone and selected Alex's number from his contacts:

TO: Alex Rider

MESSAGE:

Hey, Alex! We haven't talked in weeks! I'm moving out to LA with my brother, and I'm going to be landing in 18 hours. We should hang out soon!

-T

With that, Tom sent the message and turned off his phone. He crawled into bed and fell asleep quickly. His wrestling match had really tired him out.

**HEY! I hope you guys liked it! I'll post a couple more chapters before I decide whether it deserves to be continued or not. If you guys REVIEW I may be a little more encouraged ;) THANKS!**

**-HEARTLESS_SCHOLAR**


	2. All That's Known

**Whoa o.0 Chapter 1 blew up a fanbase I didn't think could even exist! Thanks guys!**

**JSYK, I am in fact a gay male, so yes, this might be the real thing and not just some fangirly fruity mess. **

**I_I_I_I_I_I_I**

**Chapter 2: All That's Known**

**I_I_I_I_I_I_I**

Alex was about to go downstairs to dinner when his phone let off a loud, annoying "BEEP!" alerting him to a text message he received. He sighed, "This better not be Joshua. I'm not going to waste my energy to respond to his bullshit." He reached into the pocket of his khaki shorts and pulled out a blue Rumor Touch. He flipped open the phone:

FROM: Tom

Tom?

Alex hadn't talked to him in months. He read the message and a smile forced itself onto his face. He hadn't seen Jerry since he left. He was 16 now, just as Alex was. Not only that, but Tom was coming as well. He could hardly hold in a shout of excitement when he ran down the expensive marble stairs of the Pleasure estate, dashing through an exquisite lobby with hardwood floors that shined as if they were brand new, bolting through the living room which was themed with many shades of purple and blue, and ending in the large kitchen filled with chrome appliances that made it look like it belong 100 years in the future.

He ran up to Sabina, who was preparing the night's salad, "Sab! Guess what!" he yelled, jumping up and down as if he were five.

Sabina chucked, when Alex was this excited, it was big news, "What happened this time? Did you finally get Joshua off your back?"

Alex paused at Joshua's name, his face looking serious now, "No." He then quickly reverted to his large grin and jumping, "Tom! Tom's coming to L.A.!"

Sabina's mouth dropped, "No way!"

"It's true!" Alex yelled, "I can't believe it, I finally get to see him!"

Sabina hugged Alex tight and kissed him, "I'm so happy for you! Now I'll get to meet him!" She broke the embrace and looked him in the eye, "I can't wait to see your first love." A devilish grin spread over her face.

"Hey!" Alex responded, "That's not…"

"Oh hush, silly." She said, embracing him again and moving her mouth to his ear, "I know I took that honor not so long ago."

Alex smiled; a chill moving down his spine. They had been dating since he was 14, and just last month they consummated the relationship. He really liked sex, but he didn't understand what the big deal was. It felt good, yes, but that's all it was. It didn't make him feel closer to Sabina, which sometimes made him think they weren't ready, but ever since then Sabina has been fiercely loyal to him, so no harm, no foul, right? Since then they had done it twice more. It was really easy to find time considering they lived in the same home and her parents trusted them enough to be left alone for hours at a time.

Sabina broke her embrace once more and picked up the wooden bowl the green mixture of vegetables lay in, "Come on, Alex. Mom and Dad are waiting at the table."

Alex nodded and followed her into the neighboring dining room. A lavish wood table lay in the middle of the deco-themed room, adding an odd but pleasing contrast to the eye. Mr. and Mrs. Pleasure were both seated at the heads of the table while Alex and Sabina took the middle chairs. Sabina placed the salad in the middle of the table, in between tonight's entrees of steak and mashed potatoes. Alex took his seat in front of Sabina, took a napkin off the plate in front of him and spread it on his lap.

"It smells so good, Mrs. Pleasure."

"Please, Alex, it's been a year and I told you, you don't have to call me that." Mrs. Pleasure replied. Since Alex was more of a member of the family than a guest, she thought that Alex would like to have the ability to address her in a more informal way. This was not the case.

"I'm sorry. But you know how I feel abou-"

"Don't worry Alex," Mrs. Pleasure said, letting out a small chuckle, "Thank you for the compliment, but I only did the potatoes."

"Dad made the steak!" Sabina said, "C'mon Alex, you should know this by now."

"How could I when steak is only made for special occa-" Alex started, cutting himself off. He stared at Edward Pleasure "What's the occasion?"

Mr. Pleasure smiled and looked at his wife, who nodded. "Okay, then." He said, clearing his throat. "Sabina, after we adopted Alex, we remembered something."

"This would be?"

"We wanted to give you a younger sibling, someone you could mentor and be there for. However, when I got put into my position as a top-notch journalist, we simply did not have the time. Now that I've been settled down in this city…well…"

Sabina gasped, looking at her mother "You're PREGNANT?"

Mrs. Pleasure nodded, "Confirmed today."

Alex, too, was shocked at this announcement, "So Sabina's going to be an older sister, huh?" He let forth a chuckle, "You couldn't ask for a worse influence!" He was rewarded with a kick to the shin from under the table.

"Ouch!"

"Jerk."

"Hey, I only say it 'cause I love you."

"Keep saying it and maybe I'll stop loving you back." Sabina said, a mischievous glare emanating from her eyes.

"Alright, you two, stop bickering. Alex, keep in mind you'll be this child's older brother" Mr. Pleasure said, "So you two better both be good influences."

"When will we know if it's a boy or girl?" Sabina asked.

"June." Mrs. Pleasure said.

"I can't wait!"

They passed around the dishes and ate. The table was filled with small talk about the day's events, with Alex closing the conversation with the topic of Tom's arrival.

"That's wonderful! I assume you're going to make it a point to see him soon?" Mr. Pleasure asked.

"Of course. Aside from your daughter, he's my best friend and I haven't seen him in a year."

"Well, tomorrow's Friday, so I'll be sure to help you set up arrangements to get together with him by Saturday afternoon," Mrs. Pleasure said, "How does that sound?"

"Great!" Alex said, his voice hitching in excitement.

"Good. Now you and Sabina go do the dishes and go off to bed. You have school in the morning."

"It's only 8 o'clock, Mom…" Sabina groaned.

"No fussing!"

" C'mon, we're the only kids in our high school with such a ridiculous bedtime."

"And you two are also at the top of your class. "

"I'm sure that has nothi-"

"Now!"

Alex shot Sabina a look, earning a groan followed by his girlfriend's collecting of the dishes while he set up the sink.

They did the dishes in peaceful silence and headed up to their rooms. Sabina was right next door to Alex.

"Hey, Alex?" Sabina asked, her hand on her doorknob.

"Yes?"

"Do you think we can get away with….you know…"

"With your parents home?"

"Yeah."

"Absolutely not."

"Don't you think they suspect something though? I mean, we live together, don't we? It only makes sense that we would…" her voice fell into a whisper, "…have sex."

"Are you feeling guilty?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You seem…nervous to say that word."

"Only because my parents are on the floor below us!"

Alex paused, why did she ask him this question in the first place, "Sabina, do you want sex?"

Sabina looked at the ground…"Kinda, yeah."

Alex embraced her, "Your parents have a party tomorrow night. We'll have the place to ourselves again. I promise we will tomorrow."

Sabina gave Alex a sexy glare, "Can't wait."

They kissed each other goodnight (or they frenched each other goodnight, rather) and went to their rooms. Alex lay on his bed and thought for a bit.

Why did Sabina always have to ask for sex? All of the guys at school would shag a girl every night if they got the chance, yet Alex just didn't care for it. He knew he liked how it felt, but he figured anyone would. It's sex, after all, it was _made _to feel good. The question was, though, why didn't he want it as bad as the other guys in school, especially when his partner lived with him?

His phone buzzed. He reached over to his nightstand and flipped it open.

FROM: JERRY

Our flight was delayed, still coming in tomorrow, but it's going to be late.

Alex pondered replying, and decided it would only be a good thing to do. He couldn't sleep anyway, talking to Tom would help a lot.

TO: JERRY

Oh that sucks! What's Tom doing?

FROM: JERRY

Sleeping. In the terminal. What a bum, haha. What are you doing now?

TO: JERRY

I'm supposed to be in bed.

FROM: JERRY

Isn't it like 8pm over there?

TO: JERRY

What's it to you?

FROM: JERRY

Nothing. Hey, mind if I warn you of something?"

TO: JERRY

Uhhhh…sure? What's it about?

FROM: JERRY

Tom.

TO: JERRY

Is something wrong with him?

FROM: JERRY

No.

TO: JERRY

Is he sick?

FROM: JERRY

No.

TO: JERRY

Could you stop being ambiguous and give me an answer?"

FROM: JERRY

It's not my place to tell you. He will tell you on his own. He wants to.

TO: JERRY

Tell me what?

FROM: JERRY

I can't tell you. Just…promise me you'll accept him.

TO: JERRY

What does that mean?

FROM: JERRY

Trust me, you'll understand…do you promise or not?

TO: JERRY

Of course. I would never abandon him.

FROM: JERRY

Good to hear I'm going to wake up Jerry and take my turn for sleeping. We don't want our bags stolen, so we switch off. See ya soon, Alex!

TO: JERRY

Bye, Jerry!

By the time he finished messaging Jerry it was ten-o-clock. Tom was on his mind now. He could picture the older Tom now, a deeper voice, broad shoulders, bigger chest, possibly chiseled abs….

Wait. Did he just imagine Tom with abs? Did he just imagine a big, sexy version of his best friend? No. It's how all guys look at his age. That's the only reason he thought of what he did.

He wondered how hard puberty hit Tom. Was it bad? Or was it gradual? How big was his penis now?

…Alex should not have thought of that.

"Ah, shit." Alex groaned, "I'm imagining Tom, only as every girl's wet dream." Do girls even have those? Alex had a couple, but he didn't remember who they were of. What if they weren't with girls? What if they were all with Tom?

Why was Alex even considering this? He was just tired, that's all. Once he goes back to sleep and wakes up tomorrow morning he'll be thinking normally again.

Alex set his alarm clock and fell to sleep.

I_I_I_I_I_I

_Alex was in a dark room. Two voices were calling out to him for help. One he identified as Sabina's, and the other as Tom's. He wanted to help both of them, but the room was so large with the ceiling so high that the words echoed everywhere, making it impossible for him to determine where they were. Their cries became more desperate as time went on, Alex's frustration growing. He began to blindly search for their persons, the voices echoing louder and louder with each step he took._

_Eventually, he found a beacon of light at the end of the room, illuminating a small wall with two doors on either side. One was marked Sabina, the other Tom. He had to choose one…_

I_I_I_I_I_I

Alex's alarm went off. It was time for school.

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

**I was really tired when I wrote this. I'll try to update more! This chapter was hard to write because I'm terrible at dinner table conversations. I hope you liked this!**

**NOTE: I might have flopped Tom/Jerry's names here and there, THIS IS STILL AN ALEX/TOM FIC.**

**Next Chapter: The Bitch of Living**


	3. The Bitch of Living

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

**Chapter 3: The Bitch of Living**

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

_God I dreamed there was an angel, _

_Who could hear me through the wall,_

_As I cried out like in Latin,_

_"This is so not life at all",_

_Help me out, out of the nightmare,_

_Then I heard her silver call,_

_She said just give it time kid, _

_I come to one and all_

_-Spring Awakening_

**I_I_I_I_I_I_I**

Tom's ears were about to explode by the time they finally landed in LAX. A 7 hour trip from London to Washington, D.C. coupled with a 4 hour flight to L.A. added up to the merciless popping of his ears. It was as if their canals had swollen up, trapping any air still inside with an impenetrable wall of pain. All he could do was wait for them to open up again; none of the tricks worked. The popping was so bad his hearing was severely handicapped, leading to several misunderstandings of Jerry's words.

They were just getting off of the plane, a swell of passengers happy to finally stretch their legs after such a long trip. Many started chatting on their smart phones, calling for friends, family, cabs, and other sorts of transportation. Jerry said something, but Tom couldn't hear it, so he just stayed close to him and shadowed him as they swiftly moved through the airport. Jerry seemed to be in a hurry, and, while he might have told Tom why, there was no way he could possibly have heard it.

Jerry had scheduled a cab three days prior to their return, and Tom was extremely happy to see it waiting for them the instant they got outside. The first thing he noticed about L.A. was the heat; it wasn't unbearable if one was dressed properly, but his sweatshirt and jeans from rainy springtime London trapped him in a bubble of sweat and agony. He ripped off his sweater as fast as he could, revealing a plain white t-shirt as they entered their cab. Their driver took care of the luggage, and before they knew it they were off to Jerry's apartment.

Tom realized he hadn't turned on his cell yet, so he pulled it out of his pocket and activated it. Within ten seconds it buzzed at least ten times, but for all he cared it only had to buzz once if Alex was the one who sent the message.

After scrolling through many "goodbye" and "safe travel" texts from his friends back in England, he finally found one from his best friend

FROM: ALEX

Hey Tom! Excited to finally see you again today! Soccer practice ends at 4:30, dinner at 6? We can get a great burger a few minutes from my place.

A stupid grin permeated Tom's face as soon as he read that. If he didn't know any better, he would think Alex was asking him out on a date. It would never happen, of course, and Tom realized that instantly. He realized he was thinking of Alex romantically more and more recently. He didn't know if it was because he was finally going to see him after an extended period of time and this was his way of coping with the excitement, or if he was finally realizing how much he desired his best friend.

Tom looked out the window and watched as the world whizzed by at 80 kilometers...no...miles per hour. For an instant he was afraid the taxi driver was on the wrong side of the road, but then he remembered that Americans drove on the right side of the road. He kept forgetting that he wasn't in the U.K. anymore. America was a different place. The culture was almost the same, but for once _he _was going to be the kid with the accent. He chuckled at the prospect. He knew he would eventually develop an American one, but until then he was going to have deal with being singled out as the British kid.

He looked back at his phone and sent Alex his reply;

TO: ALEX

Sounds great! Can't wait to see you again!

He hit send and put away his phone, it was two o' clock and he knew Alex would likely be paying attention to his courses. The Pleasures were clear about how they expected him to perform in school; top marks or he would lose all of his freedoms until he got them. It was harsh and, seemingly, a tactic usually used on younger kids, but Alex had no problem adjusting to it. Now that he no longer worked for MI6 he was free to focus on his studies and, perhaps more importantly to Alex, his football...no...soccer team.

"How much longer until we get there" Tom asked his brother.

"Twenty minutes. It's a bit far into the city." Jerry responded.

Tom sighed and leaned his head against the window. He closed his eyes and listened to the bumping of the wheels against the pavement, the whistle of the air that they zoomed by.

Yup. This was going to be a long day.

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

_She said,_

_"Give me that hand, please and the itch you can't control"._

_"Let me teach you how to handle all the sadness in your soul,"_

_"And we'll take that silver magic, and we'll aim it at the wall,"_

_She said, "Love might make you blind kid, but I wouldn't mind at all"_

_-Spring Awakening_

**I_I_I_I_I_I_I**

The water flowed down his muscular figure as Alex showered after returning home from soccer practice. Alex didn't move, he just stood and soaked in the comfort. He suffered a nasty slide-tackle during a scrimmage and landed on his left shoulder. Nothing was broken, but it left a large bruise that started to purple after an hour or so. It was nothing compared to the pain Alex had endured on his past missions, but now that his time with MI6 was over, the things that once were insignificant took on greater effect and importance. Homework was now his biggest fear, rather than Scorpia's assassins. His weekends were now cluttered with soccer and time with his friends and, of course, Sabina.

Alex grabbed a bar of soap off the wall and began to lather his chest, moving down to his abdomen and making sure to clean off his privates, knowing that he promised Sabina that they'd have sex that night. He had heard from some of his friends that their girlfriends didn't like having sex from them, and he'd heard from one their girlfriends that she didn't like it because his junk smelled. He didn't want Sabina to suffer a smelly penis.  
>After cleaning his legs his gingerly attempted to clean his back, almost attempting to clean his shoulder but gave up after experiencing the shooting pain that came from the lightest touch. He sighed and grabbed the shampoo, squirted out a bit, and began to lather it in his hands.<p>

As he maneuvered the substance through his golden hair he began to think about seeing Tom later. It was 5:00 when he got in the shower, and he was anticipating it being 5:30 when he got out. He wondered how he was doing, and why he decided to move out to California. Surely _he _wasn't the reason Tom came out here. No, there had to be a reason at home. Tom held a great respect for his brother, and Alex couldn't see him imposing his stay on Jerry. That meant Jerry had to have offered Tom to stay at his apartment. But why? Jerry had to have seen something or known about something at home that was so bad it prompted a move to the other side of world to get away from it.  
>It had to be bad. Alex wondered if he should ask about it. They were best friends, so surely it wouldn't be out of his place to do so. But would it be appropriate to ask during their first visit in months? Tom didn't ask Alex about Jack after his final mission...and Alex was glad he didn't.<p>

Tears began to run down Alex's face, and not because he got soap in his eyes. He remembered his guardian and how much she meant to him. Jack was more than his parental figure, she was his friend. Regardless of how much they fought, Jack was always there for him, and he appreciated that more than she would ever know...it's too bad that he didn't get to tell her. He often found himself thinking about the horrible, firey way she died, and tried to keep telling himself that it was instant and painless.

He kept telling himself that, but the truth was he would never know. His tears began to mix with hot water and shampoo as he began to sob. He sobbed for Jack. He sobbed for his parents. He sobbed for his uncle. He sobbed for everyone he couldn't save in his missions. He sobbed for the year and a half he lost fighting terrorists and thwarting international plots. The wasn't the first time he did this, Alex was constantly plagued with fits of extreme depression and sadness ever since Jack died. He still visited a therapist two times a week, and while combining those visits with a normal life has helped him considerably, he couldn't control his own emotions, and he had learned not to suppress them. So he cried, but only when in the shower, for he wanted everyone to believe he was O.K. Even Sabina wasn't aware of these tears.

His crying was interrupted when he heard a call from outside the bathroom.

"Alex, is something wrong?" It was Sabina. "I heard crying!"

_Crap_. Thought Alex, _she heard me. _"Oh, uh, yeah...everything's fine. Just got some shampoo in my eyes, it stung really badly and I just started crying. No big deal." _Hopefully she takes that explanation._ Sabina was the last person he wanted thinking he was still suffering from short periods of depression. It worried her deeply, and he didn't want that.

"Oh, ok! Just making sure. You do know it's 5:45 right? You're supposed to see Tom in fifteen minutes!"

"Oh shi-I mean crap!" Alex wanted to swear, but Sabina's parents were strict about language in the house. "Thanks, Sab!"

"You're welcome, dummy!" Sabina said teasingly, "I'll see you after dinner!" Alex heard her walking away as he stepped out of the shower. He quickly threw on some clothing; khaki shorts and a green-and-blue button-down shirt with a black undershirt. He grabbed his phone off of the bathroom sink and checked his text messages, making sure Tom didn't get there early.

He did have one new message. He opened it up;

FROM: TOM

5:30PM

Hey Alex, Jerry's got somewhere to be so he dropped me off at Louie's already. I'll just chill here and wait for ya, no rush.

"FUCK!"

"ALEX!" Apparently, Sabina heard him.

"Sorry!"

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

_It's the Bitch of Living,_

_(Bitch, just a bitch)_

_With nothing but your hand, _

_It's the Bitch of Living, _

_With something you can't stand._

_-Spring Awakening_

**I_I_I_I_I_I**

Tom was idly playing _Angry Birds_ on his phone when Alex finally got to Louie's...ten minutes late.

Alex coolly walked into the diner with a smile on his face as he approached Tom. Was it just Tom, or did Alex get even _hotter _since the last time he saw him? His hair seemed brighter, his smile more genuine, his gaze more glowing. His body seemed more chiseled and defined than before. Perhaps it was because Tom hadn't seen him in months, and he was just getting used to seeing Alex in all of his glory once again.

Tom broke out of his trance when Alex said, "Tom! Long time no see!"

Tom got out of his chair and stood up to embrace Alex as he came toward him. The two locked each other in the warmest hug Tom received ever since he told his brother he was a homosexual. He resisted the urge to caress Alex's strong shoulders as they were held together. When they pulled apart, Alex kept a hand on Tom's shoulder, smiling and looking him in the eyes.

"I missed you. I'm so glad we get to see each other again." Said Alex as he pulled his hand away and pulled out a chair at the table Tom was sitting at. He sat down, and Tom followed suit. A waitress came by and took orders for their drinks, Alex asking for a Coke and Tom asking for water. She handed them menus and walked off to get their drinks.

"So, Tom, what have you been up to?"

"Eh. Nothing good has happened recently. I told you my parents got divorced...right?" Tom said, a bit of pain in his voice.

"I think so...I'm sorry, by the way."

"No, no...it's alright. I mean, at least I knew my parents, you know. I've always felt bad for you. I mean, sure, you had Jack, but..." Tom stopped when he saw Alex look down at the table.

"Sorry, I'll stop. We're just seeing each other again and I'm being depressing!"

"No, Tom, you're fine." Alex looked up again, "I understand."

The air got a bit tense, so Tom broke the silence, "So, wait, Alex, have you been to Hollywood yet?"

Alex shook his head, "No, and I know that's weird because we really aren't that far away. I think Sab was saying something about us going for a weekend over the summer. Something about her wanting to stalk Channing Tatum or something like that."

Tom laughed, "You don't get jealous over stuff like that?"

Alex smirked, "Of course not. You think she'd actually get with him? Besides, It's not like I don't look at porn and stuff. It's the same thing."

Tom saw a chance for a quip and took it, "Wait, you look at porn? Can you not get Sabina to put out or something?"

Alex turned red, "Shut up!" Tom started laughing. He didn't know if Alex was a virgin, but honestly he didn't care.

The waitress came back with their drinks and they ordered some nachos to split.

"So, Alex," Tom said, sipping his drink, "How's Sab doing, anyway?"

Alex smiled, "Great. She's really happy we can see each other easily now. It's a bit weird though, I mean, we're dating under the same roof, and being provided for by her parents. It's almost like we're brother and sister, but we're dating...and were dating beforehand...so it's not incest, it's just weird. Sab's compared it to a couple that moves into an apartment together."

Tom nodded, "Seems about right."

"What about you? Have a girl back home?

"I live in _America _now, Alex." Tom said with a grin, "But...nah, you know how the girls are at school. They're more interested in the football players than they are the normal kids."

"That's true everywhere, bud." Alex said, laughing. "Girls, we'll never understand 'em."

_I don't have to_. Thought Tom, _but when will I tell Alex that?_

The nachos arrived and they began to eat. After two minutes of nothing but the sound of crunching coming from their mouths, Alex spoke again.

"So, Tom, I guess I have to teach you about American sports now!"

"Yeah you do! Fill me in!"

**I_I_I_I_I**

_It's the bitch of living_

_(Bitch, ah ah ah)_

_With nothing going on_

_It's the bitch of living_

_Asking_

_WHAT WENT WRONG?_

_-Spring Awakening_

**I_I_I_I_I**

Alex was stretched out on his bed when Sabina came in.

"They gone?" He asked casually.

"They left ten minutes ago." Sabina said, crawling on top of Alex, tracing her fingers along his muscular chest, "Ready?"

_I'm not sure_. "Yes."

Sabina grinned and put her mouth over Alex's. Their tongues meeting for a dance as she stroked her hands through his hair. He put his hands under her shirt and began to peel it off, Sabina wasting no time in taking the job over from him and ripping it off. She saved him the trouble of taking off her bra as she undid the latch, revealing her breasts as she threw it off.

"It's been a while since we've done this." Sabina said with a mischievous smile.

"It's been a week!" Alex said, smirking.

Sabina took off his shirt and placed her hands on his pecks, "Too long."

Sabina did all the work as she unbuttoned Alex's pants. Regardless of the situation, however, Alex could not focus on her. Alex was wondering what Jerry meant by him "accepting" Tom earlier. He seemed a bit different at lunch, but not too different. It was something subtle...or maybe it wasn't. Something changed in Tom.

His train of thought was interrupted when Sabina took him into her mouth, her tongue dancing around his member. He let out a sigh of pleasure. Regardless of whether he wanted it or not, it felt good.

Still, as she went on, he let his mind wonder as he stroked her hair. What could it be about time that was so different? He couldn't blame him for any change he might have undergone, after all, being a spy certainly changed Alex more than he ever thought it would. But why did Jerry make sure to have promise to be accepting of...

"Ah!" Alex yelled as Sabina took him insider her wet vagina. She was so _tight_. She began to bounce up and down on him, her own moans filling the air.

Yet the entire time Alex could only think about Tom.

**I_I_I_I_I**

Tom opened a bottle of water as he turned on the T.V. in Jerry's apartment. It was a standard apartment, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen that connected to a small living room. He moved over to a blue sofa and took a seat as the T.V. flickered on. Alex said the Dodgers were playing some team called the Cubs that night, and apparently he should watch.

Jerry took a seat next to him, cracking open a beer. "What made you want to watch baseball?

"Alex said I should." Tom looked at Jerry, "Hey, when do I start school?"

"Next week. I have you enrolled at the same school as Alex."

"Cool."

Jerry smirked, "So you're watching baseball because _Alex _said to?"

Tom shoved him, "Shut up!"

Jerry did not relent, "Someone's whipped!"

"No, I'm not! How can I be whipped if we're not dating!"

Jerry chuckled, "Fine, maybe not whipped, but you're definitely doing it because you like him. Admit it."

Tom sighed, "Fine. But it's not going to happen. Alex has Sabina."

"I'll stop teasing you then."

Tom looked at the ground "Yes...it's just...it's just..."

"What?"

"Oh, God...what a _bitch_."


End file.
